15 Celebrities With Herpes
While herpes is not an image breaker for a celebrity it doesn’t help the star shine any brighter in the public’s perception of who’s cool and who’s not.
Hollywood and sex synonymous among celebrities. Famous people date famous people but the dating pool is small among the stars and even smaller among the very rich and beautiful stars. She went out with him, but he first went out with her, but she was first with… far too confusing even for gossip columnist to know who currently is dating whom.
HERPES is a sexually transmitted disease contracted when engaged in sexual activity without adequate protection. Come on, it’s Hollywood baby. Live in the moment but what these celebrities didn’t bank on is that they’ll keep paying for that jiggy fun date for the rest of their lives. Herpes is incurable but it is treatable.
Enjoy 15 of the best looking skanks on the planet!
1. Paris Hilton
Seriously, are you shocked that Paris has herpes. She’s a beautiful girl and a rich heiress who loves to party. She has STD, she’s been to jail it’s like a game show as we wait to see what pit she’ll fall into next. Do we feel sorry for her? Uh, no. The girl wears Chanel gloves, need we say more.
2. Lindsay Lohan
Party long and party hard landed Lindsay in jail not once but twice. She’s dated guys, she’s dated girls but we don’t believe she’s confused but has an insatiable appetite for a good time in her CNA Classes.
Celebrities usually hold their hand out toward the paparazzi as to say, “I don’t want my picture taken.” Uh, why is Rhianna covering her mouth? Was she being polite because she burp? Once this super star got in the car she took the shawl and wrapped it around her neck and covered her mouth. Was she cold or did the heater go out in the car. Yeah, right.
4. David Beckham
The most famous footballer (that’s soccer player to Americans) in the world. He’s the male model for Armani underwear and has a body like a Greek God. Let’s give him a little playing room here for he did love to play the field as it were.
5. Victoria Beckham
Posh Spice one of the singers of the British girl group “Spice Girls.” To her good fortune and misfortune she married Beckham. Who cares if she has STD when she’s got him!
6. Derek Jeter
If there is a center to the herpes universe then it revolves around Jeter. He’s generously passed STD to the women he’s dated (rumored of course): Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel (who might have given it to Justin Timberlake or he might have gotten it from Britney Spears or Scarlett Johansson), Mariah Carey (who night have given it to Nick Cannon), Vanessa Minnillo (who might have given it to Orlando Bloom) and Scarlett Johansson. Did we not say it was confusing? Jeter might be on the watch list of the Center of Disease Control and Prevention using first aid kits.
7. Britney Spears
Can you believe innocent little Britney was once in the Mickey Mouse club? She’s all grown up now and traveled the world. Some vacation spots she should have just passed right on by, but the girl loves to party. Spears was spotted picking up a prescription for Zovirax (medication for herpes) in Kentwood.
8. Jessica Alba
Rumors suggest she hit a home run with Derek Jeter of the New York Yankees. A former assistant of Alba stated that he regularly filled her prescription for Valtrex medication used to treat herpes. Jessica did not care to comment. Why was the assistant fired again?
9. Brad Pitt
Voted twice by “People Magazine” as the “Sexiest Man Alive.” No arguments here. Rumors suggest Angelina Jolie gave him herpes during the filming of the movie, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” Of course he was still married to Jennifer Anniston at the time. So does he or does he not have herpes and do women really care. Look at him, he’s drop-dead gorgeous!
10. Alyssa Milano
She was a child star by the time she was eleven. In her twenties she became a producer of her television series, “Charmed” and garnered eight tattoos along the way. She’s a big fan of sports: football, hockey and baseball. If only she had kept away from baseball players she might not be on the list.
11. Janet Jackson
This pop star of the Jackson family dynasty kept her private life private until a former chef sued her for using his name to order prescribed medications including Zovirax which treats herpes. News and photos of medications under the chef’s name first appeared on the online magazine, “Smoking Gun.” Seriously, Janet, with all the attention Michael amassed over the years no one would have looked twice at you.
12. Orlando Bloom
Say it ain’t so! This hot British actor stole the hearts of women in both “Lord of the Rings” trilogy and “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise. Rumored to have contracted herpes through celebrity personality Vanessa Minnillo we can only ask, “Why oh why did you have to date an American?”
13. Jessica Biel
She literally stole Justin Timberlake away from Cameron Diaz, or so the rumors suggest. Now she has herpes. Is this Karma? We can’t say that she and Justin don’t look like the perfect couple. We can say it’s probably not a good idea to engage in a threesome.
14. Colin Farrell
Bad boy loved to play back in the day. He was into everything and apparently everyone. Colin has since cleaned up his act and is now sober, however he’ll always have a reminder of those party-hard nights.
15. Katie Holmes
Married to Tom Cruise rumors have it that Katie struggled with Herpes for years. Her prenuptial agreement at $40 million dollars should cover the expense of the medication and treatment. Bad things do happen to nice girls.